I am a person who has various weaknesses. One of the weaknesses that bother me the most is my slow reading speed. I read aloud as fast as I read quietly. I have tried different speed reading techniques, but my reading comprehension always falls into the bottomless pit. But at least I like to read. But because I am a slow reader, inefficient books are my nemesis. The worst is, if the books would have actually something to tell me, but they are by their volume impenetrable for me. So, I already struggled through some long books.

When I read a long book with valuable content like: “Maps of Meaning”, it is interesting, but a rage rises in me that the author is so inefficient with my time. This feeling, of course, is amplified by my reading pace. But one strength I developed through my weakness is that of summarizing. I can sum up any text, booklet, or book in one sentence. I love compact inspirational statements. Especially when they are new to me and not a repetition of what I already know. This ability to reduce a 1000-page book to one sentence is natural to me. I am aware that I omit a lot but keep the spark of inspiration that I found in the work.

Another weakness of mine is memorizing or even retaining information approximately. My memory apparently works differently than that of my acquaintances. I read a lot and forget almost everything. My study colleagues asked me about specific knowledge in the subjects, but I never knew it. I could not say a theorem or memorize a proof. But I could make a shoehorned guess. Say, “It must behave this way or that way. At least I think so.” These are then feelings of mine, but mostly they are true. I absorb information as something deeper into my personal substance and bring it out when I have a problem. However, because they are so deep within me, I can no longer tell how I know.

These two weaknesses now enable me to connect ideas in new and creative ways. I can quickly hypothesize and test. I can reduce complex statements to one sentence. I can draw from an unconscious ocean of associative knowledge and connect themes. For me, all the information is much closer together than for others. And if I compare it with my fellow human beings, I hardly understand how one can think differently. So, there are those who read books and can tell you the content but have not absorbed it into their lives. I do not understand that. I can’t do that at all. Either a book changes me as a person, or I don’t know anything about it anymore.

That’s where my somewhat biased hypothesis came from: “Only when a book has penetrated deep into your soul and reshaped you as a person, and you lead your life differently from now on, have you understood the content.” Google can do everything else for you.