Ego is strongly coupled with the word identity. But i really want to differentiate. Ego is your emotional connection to identity. What words trigger you emotional. To find this out you can do an easy test. What insults you or where do you start with excuses. I give some examples:
- All Christians are stupid. How can’t you see that this view doesn’t work.
- Women are strange they just can’t think straight.
- These gamers are so anti social they should look for a girlfriend and stop playing all the time.
These examples should illustrate what I mean. If your reaction on these sentences are anything but rational, you are in danger believing lies. There are some good and some bad reactions. Bad ones are:
- This guy is an asshole!
- I’m sure he is a (*insert your counter oppinion*) he has now idea how it is to be in my situation.
- I’m sorry but I’m not so good like you. (*sarcasm)
The common pattern is that they don’t takle the argument and are in some way emotional. I don’t mean that you have to react angry but some form of defense. Like excuses, insult back, ironic or sarcastic reaction, not answering at all and so on. They all mean you did not tackle the problem and work around.
I think people that do this miss the possibility to discover rich ideas. Have you ever thought that maybe a worldview of you is completely wrong? Do you think you would ever be able to change something very wrong if you always react defensive? Making mistakes are no shame. And this is so true. Do you know how much good (also bad) doesn’t happen because people think they don’t want to be a looser. And this is not only true for your dreams it is also true for your thinking. There is nothing bad about understanding something wrong.
So please try to be emotionally independent of your ideas. And every time you feel offended think of it: Maybe I am wrong. Maybe he is wrong. But never make excuses.